talesfromthelyft

A view from the driver's seat

The Advice Lyft

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He was a writer, bony and thin, insect-like in the way that he folded and re-folded his hands and legs. A lot of writers I know are socially awkward, a byproduct of the time spent in front of computer as well the necessary skill of observing people which often requires a certain ratio of distance and internal thought. He spoke slowly, almost haltingly and I was surprised to find out that he wrote raunchy sex comedies. He mentioned that he was dating a woman who didn’t drive and that was causing a problem since she was always late. Yes, that is a problem I concurred. Then he mentioned that she lived on the Westside. Oh definitely a problem since he was an Eastsider and romance in LA is all about proximity and parking.

I asked him, “How much do you like her?”

“Well she looks like Tom Cruise. Like she may actually in fact be Tom Cruise. Or a man who looks like Tom Cruise.” “Wait, do you even like this woman?” “No, not really.”

I looked at him askance. “Then why are you dating her?”

“I’m not really good at this dating thing. I just got out of a long term relationship and well, I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“How does she feel about you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think she really likes me.”

“You know, if you don’t really like someone, you shouldn’t go out on a date with them again.”

“You think? What am I supposed to say?”

“How about, hey I think you’re really interesting and I’m so glad I met you, but I don’t think we’re really compatible for each other, so can we just be friends?”

“But I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

I sighed. “T, they know you’re not feeling it, you know they’re not feeling it, but nobody will say anything cause they’re too worried about each other’s feeling and being polite. But honestly, you’re wasting your time and you’re wasting their time and if you want to keep dating, you should probably try to make the experience something you don’t have to dread.”

His jaw dropped. “It’s like a packet of information has just been opened in my head! That makes so much sense!”

I dropped him off at the airport a new man. A better man. A man less afraid of dating. And I drove away feeling I had done my good deed for the day — ridding the the world of painful dates, one Lyft at a time…

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2 thoughts on “The Advice Lyft

  1. Was it Woody Allen?
    Thanks for the new word.

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